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If you are a parent who has ever been told your child is naughty , defiant , disruptive , or not trying hard enough (hello 90s schooling) -this post is for you. For many families, behaviour is the first thing schools notice. But it is often the last thing they understand. As a parent, teacher, and educational advocate, I want to say this clearly: Behaviour is communication. And when we respond with punishment instead of curiosity, we miss what children are trying to tell us.

This post exists because of something I recently read in a Queensland teachers’ Facebook group. A teacher had asked for advice about working in a special school. In response, an educator with 23 years of experience commented words to the effect of: Don’t do it - you’d be better off in a “normal” classroom. Those words stopped me in my tracks. As a parent, it is deeply confronting to see children like mine- and families like ours-positioned as something other than normal . As